I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize
