i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize