somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
