Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
