Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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