You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
