okay pat passed out under dana's car
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
