So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
