Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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