so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
