2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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