Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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