Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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