I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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