6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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