I think my vagina is haunted
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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