JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I AM VODKA MAN
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
