Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
