Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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