his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have already put on my inside pants.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
as a side note pls kill me
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
