I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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