Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize