somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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