i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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