She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
