His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
