Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's shark week go big or go home
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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