A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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