Quick, to the slutcave!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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