I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
