i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
