So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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