I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
