I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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