How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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