you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
