You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
