So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
