I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
