hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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