just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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