God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
