yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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