I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
