So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
