soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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