you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
