Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
