Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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