so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
