Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
