i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
