I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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