I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
