Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
