I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
