I hate your face
i just google imaged poop.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
this hospital has no fireball
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize