the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Randomize
