theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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