this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
