Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
