Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
