This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize