I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
