Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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