in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
