ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
